


Stars And Lightning- Analogical

by AsterAspera, never90mind



Series: Sanders Sides College AU (same timeline, different perspectives) [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Background Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Background Morality | Patton Sanders, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Disaster Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Gay Disaster Logic | Logan Sanders, Idiots in Love, Implied Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deciet | Janus Sanders, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pining Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, The Love Is Requited They're Just Idiots, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29497422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsterAspera/pseuds/AsterAspera, https://archiveofourown.org/users/never90mind/pseuds/never90mind
Summary: Virgil and Logan are gay pining messes, but they eventually get themselves figured out.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides College AU (same timeline, different perspectives) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2192841
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	1. Remus' Birthday

"Come on!" He had said. "You'll have fun!" He had said. But if Virgil knew Remus at all, which he did, then Virgil knew that they had very different ideas of fun.

Virgil is sat on a black beanbag chair, slightly tipsy with a drink in hand, his best friend Logan next to him in a similar state. Neither of them had wanted to go, being introverted and largely disliking crowds, but they couldn't just not show up. Remus doesn't deserve to be sad on his birthday.

And so, he remains in place, trying to focus on the blaring rock music to keep himself grounded in reality, ignoring the rest of his friends making out or socializing like normal people.

Logan sighs as another obnoxiously loud song comes on and resists the urge to bury his head in his hands. Janus had spent hours needling and pestering Logan about the party until he had eventually caved. 

And now here he sits, severely regretting his decision. He takes another sip of whatever liquor Janus pressed into his hand before disappearing into the crowd, hoping it will dull the noise or at least his suffering. He glances over at Virgil, who looks just as uncomfortable as him and scoots over. 

"Do you think there is anywhere in this house where the music is not as overwhelmingly loud?" He asks him.

Virgil shrugs in response, knowing his low, quiet voice won't make it above the music, but he welcomes Logan's appearance in his antisocial bubble nonetheless.

He's already realised he won't be heard, and so he stands up and extends a hand to Logan, offering to lead him somewhere rather than attempt to shout.

Remus's house isn't unfamiliar to him, so he knows where they can go. Virgil makes sure he brings his cup and another bottle of whatever the hell they're drinking- it's actually alright- and takes Logan's hand.

He leads him through the loudest part of the room until they can get to the stairwell, which is a little better noise-wise. "We could go to his bedroom? He has a Switch and a couple contollers?" he suggests. He hasn't let go of Logan's hand yet.

Logan relaxes slightly when they enter the stairwell, more relieved about escaping than he wants to admit.

"Yeah, sounds good," he says, frowning at how uncooperative his tongue is. His head feels fuzzy and he finds himself wondering exactly how much he already drank.

He follows Virgil up the stairs, their hands still tangled together, though Logan finds he doesn't mind, and settles down on Remus's bed. He smiles at Virgil. "So, what do you want to play? Nothing too challenging, please. I am just slightly inebriated."

"I think we're both quite inbeeblated. Inceebrinated. Asphyxiated. Whatever," Virgil laughs, gentle but without his usual caution. The alcohol strips him of his need to stop laughing, and he lets himself experience his own stupidity as much as he likes.

As much as Logan won't admit, his tangled up brain finds it enjoyable to see his friend so free for once.

"Mariokart?" he suggests. It's his favourite game, and he usually annihilates Logan at it- it should be fun to see how well he plays drunk. He opens the bottle with his teeth and takes a sip, offering for Logan to do the same. They'd shared drinks loads of times- now was no different.

Although, most other times, Virgil didn't find himself giggling about the fact that it was an indirect kiss, because most of the time he didn't act like a preschooler.

He selected his favourite character, the black shy guy, and passed Logan a controller, but it didn't take a genius to guess he'd choose Waluigi.

Hours or minutes later, Logan finds himself losing his tenth game that evening and giggling as he bumps into a wall again. Steering is made quite challenging with his head tilted sideways and resting on Virgil's shoulder.

The party downstairs is forgotten, all that still exists is them in their little bubble of peace. As Logan takes another sip of the bottle to mourn his loss, he feels like he could stay here forever.

It seems the universe has other plans though. He hears footsteps thundering up the stairs and then the door slams open. Logan resists the urge to whine like an angsty teen who's mother just barged into their room.

Virgil has the same urge but doesn't resist. "Come oooonnnn," he whines as he sees Remus enter his room. "Do we really gotta gooo?" Remus is very drunk, leaning against the wall for support and barely coherent. He nods, and Virgil recognises that they should be going.

He finishes the near-empty bottle he and Logan have been sharing and dumps it in the bin outside the house as they make their way outside.

The night is cold, but the alcohol warms them up, along with the fact that they're holding hands still. Their house isn't far, but it takes some confusion and memory-digging to remember how to get there.

They finish what should have been a five minute walk in fifteen minutes and stumble, laughing, through the front door of their dorm building. Now to find the right dorm.


	2. Tired (and slightly drunk) Cuddles

They stumble for a few minutes, trying to find their room. It doesn't help that Logan miscounted the stairs and they're on the wrong floor.

Thankfully, someone who knows him from their English lectures steps in to help the drunk idiots, and they get to their dorm eventually.

As they pile in through the door at one AM, it seems neither of the pair are tired yet, and so they both collapse onto Logan's bed, continuing to talk and laugh for who knows how long.

It could just be the booze, but Virgil feels something warm bubble inside him- in his chest. It feels bright and soft and perfect, and he feels it every time Logan ruffles his hair or brings him closer, and he feels it whenever Logan laughs.

As Logan talks and laughs and struggles to explain some complex theory he read about in a magazine somewhere, with way too many gestures and forgotten words, he feels Virgil's eyes on him. And when he turns his head to see those perfect lips curved into a gentle smile, a smile like only Virgil has, gentle and shy and breathtaking, he thinks someone should revise the laws of gravity, because there is no explanation for how those lips seem to draw him in. 

Like a black hole, Virgil's eyes trap him and drag him closer and somewhere along the way he must have lost his train of thought because he isn't talking anymore, just staring. He wonders how much he would regret it if he kissed Virgil now. Then he wondered what he thought kissing Virgil would lead to.

He didn't have feelings for him, right? It was just the booze and the late hour and the stress of university messing with his head. He adjusts his arm, which slipped under Virgil's back at some point, bringing him in closer. "We should probably sleep," he mumbles, or something close to it.

Virgil is tired- the energy wore off some time during Logan's ramble. And so, he nods complacently, kicks off his shoes, and cuddles up to Logan, falling asleep in his clothes with his head on Logan's chest. He's a light sleeper, which is a curse, but at least he is blessed with the ability to fall asleep in seconds- when he's drunk and tired, anyway.

Logan stares fondly at Virgil as he waits for him to fall asleep. He feels his breathing puff softly against his chest, slowing as his body relaxes against him. Logan can't resist running a hand through Virgil's hair. 

Their legs tangle together and Virgil's hands cling to his shirt tightly and Logan had never felt more at peace. Usually sleep evades him, but with Virgil curled around him, he finds his eyes slipping closed easily.


	3. Swimming Pool

Virgil sits at the side of the pool with his feet in the water. He's wearing a black surfing top and purple trunks, the top section of his hair tied into a small bun at the back of his head- a reminder that he needs a haircut. Remus is already in the pool, "playing" with Roman, although it looks like he's trying to drown him.

He doesn't join them, not yet anyway. He's waiting for Logan and Janus to be done changing- they take forever since they both wear so many layers. Instead of joining the twins and Patton, he sits at the poolside, taking in the strange echoes and the smell of chlorine.

They aren't particularly nice experiences, but Virgil likes them. He enjoys the familiarity of it all, and the atmosphere around him.

Logan trails after Janus, feeling vaguely uncomfortable in just his swimming trunks. He generally prefers a few more layers but he decided to come along to swim, for the sake of the team spirit.

He catches sight of Virgil, sitting at the edge of the pool and looking at the chaos Remus and Roman are causing. Janus turns to him and smirks knowingly.

"Shut up," Logan tells him, already regretting coming along.

"I didn't say anything," Janus replies in that smug tone of his.

"You don't need to, I know what you're thinking."

Janus just shrugs and wades into the water to join the others. Logan sits down next to Virgil, trying not to stare at that bun that was somehow making him feel things. "So, not in the mood to join the others?"

"I'd rather not get drowned," he laughs gently, looking up at Logan and... Wow. The breath is knocked right out of his lungs. The way his unstyled hair falls, dark and soft over his forehead, and Virgil wants to touch it. And whoa boy, don't get Virgil started on the fact that he was shirtless. He felt a heat creeping into his face, but he doesn't try to hide it. He laughs again to himself in the freeing realisation:

He's in love with his best friend. Of course there are a hundred and one different anxious thoughts that could come into play, but those are for later. Right now, he was calm, and happy, and with Logan.

Logan stands up, dives into the water. He turns and pops his head above the surface, giving Virgil a grin. 

"Come join me? I promise I won't drown you."

From the other side of the pool he hears Patton yell as Remus pushes him under. Logan looks around to see the four of them splashing each other with water and makes the decision for Virgil. He ducks back under the water and grabs hold of his legs, pulling him under.

Virgil gives an embarrassing scream but he's smiling nonetheless, and he's laughing when he comes back up, arms wrapped around Logan's shoulders loosely to keep himself afloat.

His laugh isn't as loose as the drunk giggles at Remus' party, but it's not scared, which is good to hear. It carries through the echo of the room, leaving a joyful ring in Logan's ear and a smile on his face.

Logan gets the sudden, confounding urge to press a kiss to the tip of his nose. Hearing Virgil's laugh is like standing in the sun after a rainy day and Logan feels like he would do anything to hear it again. They smile at each other and for a moment they just drift there, caught up in their own little bubble.

His hands come up to cover Virgil's as he kicks his legs to keep them afloat. They drift over to the others and Roman sends a giant wave of water over both their heads.

Virgil squeals and laughs his laugh again, and Logan's heart is yearning. He shifts himself around, manoeuvring around Logan like a sloth to attach himself to his back. Logan's now giving Virgil a piggyback, as it's a much easier way to carry him.

"I thought you said I wouldn't get drowned!" he exclaims, but he's smiling. "Go on, avenge me," he laughs afterwards, nodding towards Roman to tell Logan what he means.

Logan doesn't need to be told twice, immediately engaging Roman in a water battle. The others join in and, for a moment, Logan sheds his serious demeanor and just lets himself have fun. His friends have a way of making him do stupid stuff and Logan finds that for once, he is not worried about being taken seriously. 

Virgil's legs wrap firmly around him as together they form an unstoppable team, happily splashing the others when they get too close. Every point of contact between them burns and Logan tries not to think of how much of Virgil's skin is pressed up against his. 

Eventually they end up in the shallow part of the pool, panting and tired. His arm is still wrapped around Virgil as they stand in the water that barely reaches up to their stomachs and sit calmly together as Patton tells them about his new niece.


	4. Advice Of Sorts

"Heeelllpppp!" Virgil groans, flopping down next to Remus on his bed, having let himself into the apartment. He says nothing further, instead opting to bury his head in a pillow and kick his feet, waiting for a response from his friend.

Remus is.. not very good at advice. But Virgil would vastly prefer to talk about this with Remus rather than Roman. Where Roman is admittedly a lot better with feelings and romance, Remus is closer to Virgil, so he trusts him more. Even if he is a little 'eclectic'.

"What is it, little guy?" Remus grins, provoking Virgil on purpose as an inside joke. However, Virgil doesn't bother to retalliate with the information that '5'7 is a perfectly good height, just because I'm not a GIANT like you at 6'1!' Instead, he just groans again, swatting a hand in Remus' general direction, grumbling something unintelligible.

When prompted to speak again, he removes his head from the pillow and looks up at Remus dejectedly. "I think I'm in love with Logan, Re."

This.. Isn't a surprise to Remus, and it wouldn't be to anyone. Who buys themself and their best friend matching Zelda necklaces unless they were super in love or something?

Well, he can't deny that his friend is slightly oblivious and also an idiot, so he decides some very useful Remus advice is necessary.

"I'm pretty sure everyone but you noticed that. You two keep giving each other moon eyes when you're in the same room, it's so annoyingly sappy," Remus complains because Virgil has just realized the obvious which meant Remus can finally tease him about his crush.

"So what you gonna do about it? March right up to him and tell him? Or you could take him out on a date, there's this awesome exhibit with real dead bodies. That's romantic as hell." To be fair, Remus had never gone on a date and romance was not exactly his thing, so that was really his best idea.

"No Rem!" Virgil complains. "I mean, I do actually like that idea, but no way! I can't just ask him out! No way am I telling him! What would I even say? And oh fuck, Remus, he's like, not even gay!" Virgil groans again, he's sitting up now but he's on the verge of tears, anxiety taking a hold on him. "How am I meant to ask a guy out if he doesn't even like guys!?"

Virgil brings his knees up to his chest, mimicking the tight, small feelings pushing their way up inside him. Breathing is getting harder, but it isn't a panic attack. It's just regular anxiety, unfortunately. The kind that makes him tremble and feel sick and makes his head start spinning, but he's still here. He hasn't lost control yet. He's just.. Scared.

"Okay, hey," Remus says, uncharacteristically gentle, as he sits down next to Virgil. "Just take a deep breath, what is it you do? Four, seven, eight? Yeah, do that."

He taps out the rhythm on Virgil's knee, so he can follow along easily. "I mean what's the worst that can happen if you tell him?" He looks over at Virgil and sighs, "Don't answer that, you're just going to panic. What I mean is, he's not going to get mad about it or anything. And maybe you get lucky and he likes you back, you don't know."

"He won't get mad, I know he won't. But if I tell him, things will be... Different. And I know I'm going to be awkward anyway, but if Logan got awkward about talking to me? Man, I dunno if I could cope with that," Virgil sighs, following the breathing routine and gradually unfurling, leaning into Remus' side instead. "I don't want things to be different really, but.. I do. It's hard to explain," he sighs, head in his hands.


	5. Slightly Better Advice

Logan's lying with his head on a cushion, which is in Janus' lap, venting his troubles as though he's at couch therapy.

"He's just so beautiful and kind and perfect in every way and it's not fair," he complains. "I mean, how am I supposed to act all calm and collected when he looks like that and he makes me feel all these illogical feelings?" He sighs in frustration, looking up at Janus in the hopes that he can offer some advice. 

"Well," Janus begins, a hand moving to absentmindedly run through Logan's dark hair. "You aren't supposed to be calm and collected with him. Noone is with their crushes. You've seen me with Roman," he chuckles quietly, no need for further explanation.

"Your feelings aren't illogical, by the way. From everything you've described about this, I reckon that falling in love was the best outcome to that series of events," he smiles. "It's also quite likely Virgil likes you too- he bought you that necklace, didn't he? That can't have been cheap."

There's a pause, but it's not an uncomfortable one.

"You would have a higher chance with him if he actually knew you were gay, by the way."

Logan huffs out a frustrated breath. "I realize, but coming out is not an easy thing. I've known him for so long, it feels strange to drop that on him now."

He closes his eyes, letting Janus's hand running through his hair ground him.

"I'm scared," he admits, "Obviously I'm scared he might not reciprocate. But in a way I am also scared about what him reciprocating my feelings might mean. Our relationship is predictable, familiar, and I don't know if these feelings could complicate that."

"I suppose Virgil feels the same," Janus noted. "With his anxiety, familiarity and routine are important comforts for him. But do you know what might make his anxiety worse? Never knowing if his feelings are returned, and being too anxious to blurt them out himself."

Janus allows for another pause as his words sink in to Logan's mind.

"Plus, if you're both so comfortable like this, nothing has to change. It would just make it easier not to have to skirt around certain topics all the time, and withhold the words that you really want to say," Janus adds, and this time he's finished. He subconsciously continues to play with Logan's hair, mussing it and then tidying it again. He lets the words sink in once more, but this time it's for himself too- he's never been good at taking his own advice.


	6. Pining Time

Virgil is sitting with Logan in their usual configuration, Virgil almost in Logan's lap with his arms around him while they play videogames together on a Saturday at midnight. Virgil passes some chips to Logan absent-mindedly, smiling as he wins another round of smash bros. And, as Logan sighs fondly and selects their next stage, Virgil finds himself fighting an urge. In the safety and comfort of this moment, he finds himself desperately wanting to tell Logan just a simple, 'I love you.' But he doesn't. He couldn't. That would ruin what they have, he thinks. Because unfortunately, Janus hasn't blessed him with advice that makes sense.

Remus is a good friend- he's fun, he's interesting, and he's good at helping in his own way. But with advice? They're both as clueless as each other.

* * *

Logan stands on the threshold of their room, two cups of coffee in his hands. He stares at Virgil, hunched over a pile of papers and looking like he just rolled out of his grave. It's late and like typical college students, they're cramming for exam week.

He sets a cup down on Virgil's desk, because there is no way they're going to bed anytime soon and when those tired eyes look up at him, he gets the urge to utter those three simple words. Instead, he just wordlessly runs a hand through Virgil's tangled hair.

Tonight is not the night for this. They are both tired and stressed. A conversation like that is best left for a time when they are both more mentally stable. And if Logan feels just the tiniest bit of nerves despite Janus's advice, well, who could reprimand him for it?

* * *

After a particularly tough day, Virgil finds himself clambering into Logan's bed, curled against his chest like he's allowed to do when he gets this way. When he's scared of everything, and his thoughts won't leave him alone, he turns to Logan. Logan, who has a constant warmth and a gentle rhythm, and who makes Virgil feel at home. He's safe here, and he knows it. And, as the lights are flicked off and Logan's chin comes to rest on his head, Virgil wishes with all his heart that it could be alright if he kissed him. For that kind of affection- those touches and those words- to be as commonplace for them as a hug or a high-five.

Upon eventually falling asleep, Virgil finds himself dreaming of Logan. Of holding his hand, of kissing him gently, of sharing a life together. He wakes up disappointed that the dreams are gone.

* * *

They go camping once, after a particularly hard week. Logan calls his mom to borrow his tent and takes Virgil out of the city. He says he needs a break from all the noise of the city, but really, Virgil looked like he needed a break. And Logan is all too happy to drag him along on hikes and point out all the different trees.

It's a perfect weekend, Logan thinks as he looks back at Virgil. At the way the dappled sunlight lights up his face and the way the bags under his eyes look less defined. This is what I want, he thinks, just you, following me on these stupid hikes to the middle of nowhere.

Janus would say this is the perfect time to tell him but Logan hesitates. He fears one wrong word will destroy the peace between them as they settle on a rock to eat. One day, he promises himself as he points out a buzzard circling high above the rocks.


	7. Confession

Logan sits down next to Virgil on his bed, tense with anticipation. He had decided, today he was going to tell him. That may or may not have anything to do with Janus yelling at him to stop whining about his crush, but that's irrelevant right now. He crosses his legs and turns to look at Virgil, who gives him a quizzical look. 

"Virgil, I have something to tell you," he says, trying to hide how he is fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "First of all, I like boys. Romantically, that is," he confesses.

This is a surprise to Virgil somehow. "Oh," he replies eloquently. "So do I," he says, and now he wants to crawl into a hole and die. Logan came out to him and he just went and stated the obvious! And he made it about himself, because he felt a stupid glimmer of hope. And now he felt selfish and awkward. "Sorry.. I uh, I meant, thank you for telling me that. Coming out can be hard." Second try goes okay, but dear God he should've said that the first time around.

"Thank you, and yes, I am aware you like boys," Logan chuckles. He takes a deep breath, feeling a little like he's about to jump out of an airplane, not that he's ever done that before. "But that was not what I wanted to talk about. We have been close friends for a very long time now and while I greatly appreciate the relationship we have now, I have also realized the feelings I harbour for you are not strictly platonic," he says. This would probably be easier if Logan just said it upfront instead if giving a long-winded, rambling explanation, but he has never been the most concise.

He doesn't look up. "What I mean to say is, I love you, Virgil, in a romantic sense." There, it's out in the open now, no way back.

"Oh thank God!" Virgil breathes, an almost crazy laugh carrying through the small space of the room. "You mean that?" he asks, looking up at Logan like he will shatter into a million pieces or grow wings and fly, depending on Logan's answer.

He needs a second confirmation. He needs to know this is real. He needs so desperately to know Logan loves him, but he's dreamt about this so often he can't bring himself to believe it quite yet.

Logan smiles at Virgil's reaction and gently cups his hands in his own. He holds them against his chest. "Yes Virgil, I mean it. I have held these feelings for you for quite a while and wanted to tell you. I know this might change some things about our relationship but I'm certain we can figure something out that works for the both of us, if that is what you want."

He stops speaking to stare at Virgil, at the blush on his cheeks and the sparkle in his eyes and thinks once again about how much he wants to kiss him. "May I kiss you?" He breathes before he fully realises the question is forming in his mind.

"You may," Virgil smiles, relief and joy and love and hope flooding his body all at once. He doesn't bother waiting for Logan, because he's wanted- no, NEEDED this, for longer than he'd realised. He moves a little closer, holding Logan's face gently and pressing a light kiss to his lips, afraid of going any further. Anything he can get is enough.

Logan doesn't let him get far when he tries to pull away, his hand coming up to gently cup the back of Virgil's neck. He pulls him into another kiss, deeper this time, but still hesitant. It feels so right, comforting and familiar, like Virgil has always been. And he doesn't want to go too far, not when all of this is so new and fragile. He settles for wrapping his arm firmly around Virgil's waist to pull him close, his other hand threading through his hair.

Virgil hums a little, the action is surprising but not unwelcome. Logan tastes exactly how he thought he would- coffee and mint and he's so warm. How he holds Virgil now, playing with his hair in the way Logan knows he loves- he's in heaven and he doesn't want to leave.

Although unfortunately, he has to. Kissing Logan, while glorious, does induce some anxiety when it's lasting so long- especially for their first one. He parts their lips gently, even though part of him is screaming for more, and rests his head on Logan's shoulder, arms wrapped around his neck.

Virgil lays his head on Logan's chest with a small smile, and everything feels right.


	8. I Love You Too

Logan looks fondly down at Virgil, who is curled up against his chest. He runs a hand gently through his hair.

"We should probably talk about how this is going to work," he says quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace of the evening. "The reason I waited so long to tell you was because I was afraid of changing the relationship we have now. So I want to know how you want to proceed." He presses a soft kiss to his hair. "There is no wrong answer, I only want you to feel comfortable," he reassures him.

"You dork," Virgil smiles, cuddling up to him nonetheless. "I'm the same. I just wanna play games with you at unholy hours of night and buy you dumb nerd merch, but maybe with a bit more kissing," he laughs, turning around so that he can kiss Logan's cheek, illustrating his point.

"Affectionate introversion is all I need," he sighs fondly, and it's true. Staying up all night with cuddles and videogames is all Virgil's ever wanted, so any arrangement of that is perfection to him.

Logan tilts Virgil's chin up so he can press a gentle kiss to his lips. He smiles and he's sure he looks absolutely hopeless but he can't find it in himself to care.

"That sounds perfect," he says, because he wants nothing more than the life they share. "I love you," he murmurs as he curls up closer around Virgil.

Virgil takes a gentle breath, a smile splitting open his face, lighting up the room.

"I love you too."


End file.
